SHE.HER.JESS.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Some things even if misunderstandings are cleared, it's useless, b'cuz the harm is already made. It will be a prick in the chambers of the hearts and we can no longer get along like we used to...

I am jealous bah and I hate myself.
HATE myself for being lazy.
HATE myself for having no great interest in anything.
HATE myself for having no aims or goals in life.
HATE myself for not being understanding.
HATE myself for procrastinating.
HATE myself for not being able to speak well.
HATE myself for not knowing how to console people.
HATE myself for being so slow in reacting.
HATE myself for being not determined to swim properly.
HATE myself for not knowing anything about branded.
HATE myself for not willing to spend money on branded.
HATE myself for having no common topics to talk to ppl.
HATE myself for not knowing how to chat but only lame.
HATE myself for being such a bad friend.

Sbdy once said that a gd point to learn from me is that I try to make friends with everybody, forgetting and accepting those nasty but maybe accidental deeds that they may have done. That's because I feel that making foes with them, hating or disliking is painful and is not in favour of GOD's eyes.
BUT BUT BUT...
this character of mine is not necessarily good because when u have too much friends, you cannot have best of all the worlds.
Dates with friends may clash.
Some friends may not like your other friends.
Sometimes when u wanna build up better frenships with others, you feel restricted as you will be neglecting your besties, especially when they are in contact with those frens as much as you but they just dun wanna bond because they only prefer besties. So your besties get closer but u are like far apart with them. And it's just hurting to see that your besties no longer needs you when u need them.

I have no reason to ask a friend to put me as her priority when I am such a bad friend, idiot & elohssa. I dunno if my frens will uds how I feel cause I never show it before and always camouflaged my emotions with smiles and lameness, but I am so tired of being myself and pretends that I am not hurt so as to reduce conflicts. I dun want to lose any friends in my life, especially losing the favour of any of my besties. But I'm tired.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

If Murder isn't a crime, I would kill Death:

Maybe it's because I couldn't imagine loved ones leaving their loved ones
Or couldn't imagine me leaving my loved ones,
I couldn't help tearing just now on my way home...
I know it was silly cuz I dunno that friend well
But I wish everybody in this world will not leave each other.

Maybe it's because I have already lost the one who doted me the most
And I didn't even say goodbye to her...
And I really wish people will reunite even after death
And I wish everybody will go heaven and happy.
I dunno how God will judge, I'm afraid... :(

I really hate Death.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

MID-YR REVIEW (phy and econ)

PHY - 50:50 got to better the topics i am gd at and for the Forces and Moments i really need to buck it up!

ECON - today did stewpid things by misunderstanding my question, wrote 3 sides for half an hour and in the end WRONG and need to redo and ah that's why no time.

tmr is Maths! jiayyous and nv say ddie everybody even if we know it's gonna be a killer paper.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

I have heard of 3 accidents for this month alr... Apart from that one, there is another one where a guy who has parked at the side of the road and while he was trying to get out of the car, a motorcyclist hit him off the ground :( what's worse is that when he fly off to another part of the road, another vehicle cant stop in time and drived over his body :(:(:( It's so sad.

And another young potential female motorcyclists got hit by a taxi cuz the road sign for "no motorcyclists" is blocked and it's small to be seen. As a result, she u-turned unknowingly and got crashed with a taxi on the another road. Now, the road management has put the "no motorcyclists" sign more big and obvious but what's the point when a life has already been lost... ;(

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Hey i havent blog for a abt a week! ever since the deadly swimming aftermath haha. now feeling better but sstill not gd. Throat and ears pain, cough and plus more """ torture.

Apparently i am chasing mousehunt in facebook cuz i dun wanna be behind behind and i wanna craft more cute cute things like the "Arcane of the undying...sthg" lah. haha. but the point it is not only gold-wasting but time-wasting too. i want to buck up econs too and that's really hard cuz my econs i really dunno how to buck it up and i'm sure Mr. Bong will really be disappointed with me :(

And ii realise after this 3 days out of this week i dint go school, i miss sch is less imptant. cuz most imptantly is that i am not able to concentrate anymore. cuz of my illness, whenever i focus or exercise, i get so giddy i jus wanna faint or take a nap and this makes my progress very little and slow. So fed up with myself.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

How suai can ppl get? lols. Once u suay, it will be endless. haha.

lols ysd very tired dint even come online. ysd went swimming, forgetting i a bit sick. hmm then went to eat yummi yogurt and very nice curry rice with chicken dipped with gravy. then i go macs study with pris until 11pm :)

haha then fever 38.7 degree celcius. whole body aching and sore throat and cough and slight flu, i also dunno how it all happens so fast. lols. eye pain tmr still got gp test and i want to ask coach change my squash grip leh.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Why are funny stuff happening to me haha?

Last week, the day i left sch alone. I met 2 St. Gab guys and one of them called me "Dumb!" THRICE. omg. i was pissed off. He thot i was wearing earphones hearing music and cant hear him, and he still turn over to his fren and said "Eh, she cant hear leh! hehe" omg he is saying stewpid stuff cuz i havent turned on my music. When i stare at that guy, he turned to his fren fast. Hopefully, he is being scared or guilty of his childish acts. I really wanted to bash him up haha but IMAGE AH, IMPT. HAHA.

But today is different :) the situation is similar --- strangers. got into mrt towards harbourfront with Shi Ying (or rather Denise haha) at the peak hours. then in boon keng or potong pasir station, a mother and boy son boarded the cabin. OMG the boy is so CUTE!!! he's ard 5 yrs old i think. haha. the moment he board the train, he immediately looked at me and mouth big big Smiling :) lols. i wanted to tell Shi Ying abt the boy's look but b4 i could tell, LOLS, that boy sort of GRAB my arm. Shocked man! The whole row sitting opposite me are all smiling secretly, it's like they suddenly awake from sianness-due-to-work. Even the white guy that is expressionless since the moment Shi Ying and I stepped into the cabin is laughing. luckily, his mother pulled him back, but i'm still blushing and laughing all the way. hahaha. Shi Ying said when the boy looked at me, he smiled so widely, lols. so CUTE! hhah. and in the end i said bye to the boy when alighting haha.