SHE.HER.JESS.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS BAD FEELING OF DISAPPOINTING SOMEBODY!

MUG HARD!

AND DONT REPEAT YOUR MISTAKE!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

After 'O' levels had passed, the studious me was also gone. I became restless and less consistent in my studies. If I am assigned to do a task, my body will always do everything else under the sun other than that particular task. Is that a rebellious behavior of mine? I guess not. Im just reluctant to be responsible of anything.

My sister used to brag to her friends about me being very intellectual. But she feels that im a lazy pig now, not putting effort to make things happen, and how i manage stress is certainly not a healthy way. My brain now has become rusty, makes me bimbo and reacts slower than before. Im starting to feel the disappointments of my family and friends had in me. Im sorry for my lack of discipline that could create such terrible results. It's time I do something about myself.

My goal this year:

- Besides getting out of academic warning...

- Know Circuit Analysis at the back of my hand.

- Start Driving Practicals and at least once a week.

- 48kg - Squash >= twice a week, Run every morning, Watch diet.

Starting next semester:

- No skipping or late for lectures or tutorials even if it's dry, learnt before, for meals or goodie bags.

- Attempt tutorial questions for the tutorials.

- Get my driving license by 2013.

- Learn and register to be a housing estate agent.

PROCRASTINATION IS THE LAST THING I SHOULD DO.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Some things even if misunderstandings are cleared, it's useless, b'cuz the harm is already made. It will be a prick in the chambers of the hearts and we can no longer get along like we used to...

I am jealous bah and I hate myself.
HATE myself for being lazy.
HATE myself for having no great interest in anything.
HATE myself for having no aims or goals in life.
HATE myself for not being understanding.
HATE myself for procrastinating.
HATE myself for not being able to speak well.
HATE myself for not knowing how to console people.
HATE myself for being so slow in reacting.
HATE myself for being not determined to swim properly.
HATE myself for not knowing anything about branded.
HATE myself for not willing to spend money on branded.
HATE myself for having no common topics to talk to ppl.
HATE myself for not knowing how to chat but only lame.
HATE myself for being such a bad friend.

Sbdy once said that a gd point to learn from me is that I try to make friends with everybody, forgetting and accepting those nasty but maybe accidental deeds that they may have done. That's because I feel that making foes with them, hating or disliking is painful and is not in favour of GOD's eyes.
BUT BUT BUT...
this character of mine is not necessarily good because when u have too much friends, you cannot have best of all the worlds.
Dates with friends may clash.
Some friends may not like your other friends.
Sometimes when u wanna build up better frenships with others, you feel restricted as you will be neglecting your besties, especially when they are in contact with those frens as much as you but they just dun wanna bond because they only prefer besties. So your besties get closer but u are like far apart with them. And it's just hurting to see that your besties no longer needs you when u need them.

I have no reason to ask a friend to put me as her priority when I am such a bad friend, idiot & elohssa. I dunno if my frens will uds how I feel cause I never show it before and always camouflaged my emotions with smiles and lameness, but I am so tired of being myself and pretends that I am not hurt so as to reduce conflicts. I dun want to lose any friends in my life, especially losing the favour of any of my besties. But I'm tired.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

If Murder isn't a crime, I would kill Death:

Maybe it's because I couldn't imagine loved ones leaving their loved ones
Or couldn't imagine me leaving my loved ones,
I couldn't help tearing just now on my way home...
I know it was silly cuz I dunno that friend well
But I wish everybody in this world will not leave each other.

Maybe it's because I have already lost the one who doted me the most
And I didn't even say goodbye to her...
And I really wish people will reunite even after death
And I wish everybody will go heaven and happy.
I dunno how God will judge, I'm afraid... :(

I really hate Death.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

MID-YR REVIEW (phy and econ)

PHY - 50:50 got to better the topics i am gd at and for the Forces and Moments i really need to buck it up!

ECON - today did stewpid things by misunderstanding my question, wrote 3 sides for half an hour and in the end WRONG and need to redo and ah that's why no time.

tmr is Maths! jiayyous and nv say ddie everybody even if we know it's gonna be a killer paper.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

I have heard of 3 accidents for this month alr... Apart from that one, there is another one where a guy who has parked at the side of the road and while he was trying to get out of the car, a motorcyclist hit him off the ground :( what's worse is that when he fly off to another part of the road, another vehicle cant stop in time and drived over his body :(:(:( It's so sad.

And another young potential female motorcyclists got hit by a taxi cuz the road sign for "no motorcyclists" is blocked and it's small to be seen. As a result, she u-turned unknowingly and got crashed with a taxi on the another road. Now, the road management has put the "no motorcyclists" sign more big and obvious but what's the point when a life has already been lost... ;(

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Hey i havent blog for a abt a week! ever since the deadly swimming aftermath haha. now feeling better but sstill not gd. Throat and ears pain, cough and plus more """ torture.

Apparently i am chasing mousehunt in facebook cuz i dun wanna be behind behind and i wanna craft more cute cute things like the "Arcane of the undying...sthg" lah. haha. but the point it is not only gold-wasting but time-wasting too. i want to buck up econs too and that's really hard cuz my econs i really dunno how to buck it up and i'm sure Mr. Bong will really be disappointed with me :(

And ii realise after this 3 days out of this week i dint go school, i miss sch is less imptant. cuz most imptantly is that i am not able to concentrate anymore. cuz of my illness, whenever i focus or exercise, i get so giddy i jus wanna faint or take a nap and this makes my progress very little and slow. So fed up with myself.